I recently purchased a Weekender Convertible for an upcoming 2-week family trip to Switzerland and Germany in December. I had it laid out on the bed to use for my trip last week to a business conference when my spouse of 18 years spied it and said, "That seems excessively small for two weeks in Europe." I replied that it looked small, but it would hold a lot and the key was to pack light.

The response, as I knew it would be, was, "I've been to Europe plenty and know all about packing light." There is absolutely no response I can make to this that permits me to maintain marital harmony, so I let it drop.

The trouble is, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to pack that bag with my stuff for Europe in the Winter, including a few days skiing in Switzerland. But my main concern is that because I'll be moving so much easier, I'll then get stuck carrying or schlepping other family members' stuff. We're going with two kids, ages 11 and 8.

Anybody else out there dealt with a reluctant spouse on these issues?

I think my best bet may just be to lead by example and perhaps show them what a much easier time I have over there and hope that for the next trip, they take heed. In the meantime, I'm trying not to develop anticipatory resentment that since my hands will be free and my bag will not be so heavy that "Surely I can carry a few more things that won't fit in their already big bag. . . ."

I can report a small success. I've made a convincing case that each of us needs no more than 3 pairs of pants, one of which we'll be wearing on the plane, leaving only 2 pair to pack. I've got agreement on that at least.

Sigh.

I understand. My daughter and I went to Ireland in June. I had one small carry-on and she had two suitcases, that I had to carry too. My wife and I are going to Hawaii on Wednesday and I told her she could pack anything she could carry but don't expect me to do it. So far the marriage has survived. As you go along, try educating them on how easy it is to only have one fairly light bag. By the time they go through the departure airport, they may be converted.

In a family of over-packers, I too end up helping to carry their bags. The one trip that I did not go along with them...convinced them to carry less next time. Okay, not much less, but less all the same. Perhaps by forcing them to carry it all themselves that time made a difference?

Good luck!

taking 2 young kids along, you will need to help with their stuff, so packing light for all 3 of you makes sense. If you make a game of it, you can teach your kids to pack light from the start, and eventually your husband will be the odd man out (probably with your kids picking on him for having so much stuff), which may lead him to packing lighter.

"I recently purchased a Weekender Convertible for an upcoming 2-week family trip to Switzerland and Germany in December....my spouse of 18 years spied it and said, "That seems excessively small for two weeks in Europe."

So far, that is the response I have from MY wife regarding my acquiring the 21-inch Redoxx Air Boss, with an eye towards using that next May for a week's trip to London, for which so far she plans to use her 29-inch Rimowa. I am working towards at least downsizing her to a 24-inch case for that trip...I just need to figure out how to semi-stiffen the lid on a Rick Steve's rolling case for her, though that case at a bit over nine pounds still isn't really light.

"My wife and I are going to Hawaii on Wednesday and I told her she could pack anything she could carry but don't expect me to do it."

That of course is an even easier scenario, based on my last trip! No shoes, no socks, no long pants, no undershirts, no sweater to pack if you're a guy, and the situation is similar for a lady, who should be left with enough space in a carry-on for TWO bikinis!

Yes , Packing light as an example and NOT trying to push the spouse is a good solution. I have waited patiently at the luggage return many times for my wife's bag while mine is sitting between us. Last month she had to travel with flights between two cities with only 40 minutes between flights that were booked separately . She asked if she could borrow my 1500 ci ( 9x8x15) travel bag. By the time she got home she was hooked. The only thing she did not like was having to wear her running shoes in flight instead of her normal slip-ons.
Her case for checking on has always been that then she does not have to carry anything on the flight except a book and some food and water Then during layovers she is free from stuff witch makes it easier to walk around. Now let's remember that on most of these trips I have been walking right along with her with no problems.
So, hang in there and hope for the best (and lightest)....... Forest

Some people I talk to just simply refuse to travel lighter, I've found, probably because they've never had a bag misplaced, or because they simply don't think they can live without 10 pairs of shoes. Or, simply because they can (i.e., someone else is doing the carrying, or the nature of the trip doesn't dictate less luggage).

The irony is, of course, that they put so much importance on items that they then place in the slippery hands of the airline baggage system. Sometimes I use that as part of my argument.

.Many years ago...my then GF and I planned a week long trip to Paris. I had been a few times, it would be her first

We started to discuss packing. I said we should limit it to one bag. She complained she didn't know how she could fit everything into one 29" suitcase.

I then explained one bag travel and my 21 x 14 x 9 convertible bag. She then folded her arms, made a stern face and said, "That size might be okay for a short weekend but If you think I'm going to walk around Paris with a dirty, smelly, bum, you're crazy. You will take a full sized suitcase like everyone else and bring what I tell you.

Paris never happened and I hear her now husband yells "how high" when she says jump.

My wife absolutely does not like dirty and smelly. But as many of us can attest you can take very little and look (and smell) fine. Sounds like your GF's problem was the need for control and unwillingness to trust your ability to pull it off. Most reasonable people can be convinced that it's at least OK to travel like this - at least for others.

<<take a full sized suitcase like everyone else and bring what I tell you.>>

Sounds FAMIILIAR. In late 1985 Wife 1.0 and myself were invited to travel to Paris, then to meet her mother, and her mother's best friend, for a car tour through the French chateau country, down to Nice, where her mother and friend had rented a house for a few months, that being a far more hospitable place than Detroit during January and February. BUT, my late mother-in-law impressed on the two of us that we had to pack as little as possible, given that a Citroen Bx, while roomy for a European automobile, did not have a trunk by American standards capacious.

I took Lee seriously, and traveled with a small camera bag, and an Andiamo suitbag, that had outside pockets, probably weighed no more than 3 lbs., if that, size maybe 3" x 24" x 40", folded over 6" x 18" x 24", i.e., maybe 2600 cu. in, if that, around the size of the Redoxx Air Boss I just bought. Mrs. Birnbaum 1.0, on the other hand, didn't understand why I wanted her to pack all of her stuff into a Boyt 21-inch case, and insisted on taking a 26-inch. twice the size of the smaller case, the same size case her mother and friend had for their two month trip, not the one week we would be spending with them.

That led to a SCENE on a Paris sidewalk, UNE CRISE TERRIBLE, when 1.0's bag barely fit, and initiated a schism between 1.0 and her mother, that never really healed. Her mother died somewhat prematurely, several years later. When the will was read...1.0 had been...DISINHERITED!

TRUE story....anyone got a better...or WORSE one?

What's marital harmony good for? Onebagging is the only truth! ;)

Alan! Oh my! That is quite a story! If this does not convince one to travel light, I don't know what will!
Note to self - now more determined than ever to go One Bag!

At this time I do consider it unrealistic to convert my wife to carry-on one bag travel, BUT, I am actively looking to get her a bag distinctly smaller and lighter than her 29-inch Rimowa. Due to travel damage already incurred to that case, I do not intend to simply buy a smaller Rimowa! It would be nice for her to have a 24-inch case. Among other things, that would be just large enough to let me store my Air Boss inside it, when we get to our destination.

Holly, you have several issues here, and you need to deal with each separately.

The first thing is dealing with the "fairness" issue. You should not **have** to help others carry their own stuff. Group gear, yes. Personal gear, no. You need to have a discussion with the hubby about what kind of example you're setting for the kids. Because right now the message is that it is OK to dump your problems (baggage) on others and expect them to clean up after you. That is giving them a "user" attitude to others. That doesn't sound respectful and responsible to me!

This needs to follow up with a discussion on having the kids take some responsibility for themselves. They are certainly old enough - in some countries kids that age would be heads of households! A good way for them to start taking responsibility is for them to carry their own bags. One bag each, because otherwise the kids will be leaving something behind. And wouldn't it be great if they could fit their stuff into an weekender style bag that they could carry themselves?

At this point, the hubby is skeptical. You need to make it "safe" for him. So offer him a proposal. To test this one bag thing out, you and the kids will spend a week at home living out of one bag just as though you were on travel. That should prove (or not) that it is possible. Since hubby knows about packing light, he can offer suggestions and be the judge on if the experiment is working. This has the added advantage of allowing you to see what does/ does not work. The kids may see it as an adventure. Make sure you present it as a challenge/game. Who can do it the best? Since it is only one week, they can handle it. If you want to sweeten the pot you and the hubby can offer to let the kids keep any money saved in checked baggage fees. Wouldn't you rather that they had it instead of the airlines?

The hubby may or may not participate in this challenge. He doesn't have to. He is going to see with his own eyes if it is possible or not. And the kids wll tease him if they can one bag it and he can't. Who knows, he may even join in the challenge of who can one-bag it the best?

Cindy, that's a brilliant idea! I wish I'd thought of it.

Great suggestion Cindy!

I am aware that with the 8-year-old at least, we'll be toting some of his stuff--which is one of the reasons I wanted to keep the adult packing to a minimum so that the extra could be more easily handled. My dream situation would be each adult has their own one bag weekender type (don't care the brand really), the 11-year-old carries his stuff in an LLBean Turbo Transit bag, and the 8-year-old's stuff goes into a 20 or 21 inch roller, with the extra room to spare for some souvenirs I'm sure we'll collect on the way. The little one actually likes to be in charge of a small rolling bag so that would work with his age anyway.

I think the resistance is coming from the fact we are traveling in Winter and plan to squeeze in some skiing. So the notion of where to put some of the bulkier cold weather gear is daunting to the spouse. I've also been diligently working on the assumption of bulky for cold weather, and have already secured some lightweight merino wool long johns for adults and am trying to build my wardrobe around layering with a few core pieces so nothing is too bulky anyway. (If someone out there is dying to get rid of a women's Patagonia sweater vest for cheap, please contact me immediately!)

And I even pointed out the obvious that the coats rarely, if ever, will be packed because we'll be wearing them, especially when traveling from place to place, and skiing and visiting the outdoor Christmas markets, etc.. That point actually went over pretty well.

Finally, the truth is that my spouse really has been to Europe way more than me (though that was many, many years ago) and compared to most typical Americans, does pack "light." Just not quite light enough to one-bag it in a carryon size in Winter. (In Summer, I think we would be giving it a try quite easily.)

Since we're flying Swissair, I couldn't use the checked bag fee argument because they don't have one.

Great point!!! Isn't helping overpackers a form of enabling??? Let them hit rock bottom, go to Overpackers Anonymous, and get their act together!!!!

It's never too early to teach children how to pack small! I'm a military brat and I learned at an early age to get things as small as possible or ELSE. If it wasn't in the car with us (and the pets, etc.) when we either had to move across the country or the world, it often arrived at our new base soiled, stained, and broken, or didn't arrive at all. To this day I hate movers, but I have a special place in my heart for airline baggage personnel that makes my ideal moving van company afterlife seem like paradise. Don't let airline personnel tell you direct nonstop flights can't lose luggage or air frieght checked in two hours before your flight. Trust me, they can. Oh, can they.

Tell your children the truth - if they pack something precious in their suitcases, they'd better be prepared to never see it again. Outright baggage theft and pilfering of items in a bag is at an all-time high. No baggage personnel have touched my bags in over twenty years, and I intend for it to stay that way. They should start now, trust me. Don't think I travel for just three-day jaunts with my Air Boss. I can be gone for a week, or a month, or even nine months in one carry-on bag. I don't look like a hobo, I don't smell, and I like to think I can still dress somewhat stylishly.

Make a game of it with your kids - have them see how many outfits they can combine with a packing list they can manage on their own (or allow that some will fit into the corners of Mom and Dad's bags for the 8-year old). Note I said 'some' here; let your 8-year-old carry a comfortable weight, but make both your children carry some or all of their stuff. Don't port all of it about for them! Porters are often nonexistent when overpackers expect them to be there. Don't get them started on depending on someone else humping their gear about for them!

If they ever go to camp, they'll be the envy of the others, by the way. They'll be wizards of 'pack small and have what you need.' I still remember my first student trip to Europe in the '70's, where I had a small bag (a hardside not much bigger than my Air Boss), and I remember waiting forever for the others in my group of fifteen to get their stuff in, out, and around at each city. I know I converted a few to one-bag small packing! When asked, all I could say was 'Thanks, Dad.' In forty years your kids will be thanking YOU.

Try this on your wife - ask her to add up the prices she paid for her proposed packing list and then hit her with the sad truth - the international baggage claim limit for lost or damaged luggage.Then tell her the even more awful truth - that never gets paid; the airlines depreciate clothing and shoes heavily. If she doesn't have receipts, she probably won't see a dime. If THAT doesn't get her to pack one bag she can carry herself and like it, nothing else will. You have my sympathy if this comes to pass.

I can't top Alan's story, but laughed at the "Wife 1.0" reference. It reminded me of Day 1 (Wedding day) with Wife 2.0 -

After the wedding reception, we went back to her house to get some things. Her two sons and the older one's girlfriend were there already, and we began some small talk. The two sons looked at each other, then turned to me and said "Let's go into the living room" with a most serious look on their faces. I wondered what they were up to. I already had, I thought, a good relationship with them, but I guessed I was going to get the lecture about being VERY careful to look after their mother, and they would be making sure all went well, if I knew what was good for me. It being New Jersey I wouldn't have been surprised at the worst.

With straight faces they looked me right in the eye and said: "This is the only advice we have for you (as I was thinking maybe they really worked for Tony Soprano's role model) - Whatever you do, make her carry her own luggage!" I chuckled, and they said "No, seriously - make her carry her own!" Wife 2.0 rolled her eyes, and said something about her secret now being out.

We've had may a laugh about it, but it has proven to be great advice. Although I'm not yet at a true One Bag level, I am further along the way than my spouse. When she looks at the disparity in our baggage volume when we travel she sucks it up and doesn't lean on me to carry some of hers. I am not a gloater, and try to leave hints about packing smaller..maybe some day.

In any event, I LOVE those boys - well, guys now: 39 and 36. We still laugh about it, and they still ask if I have been following their advice!

My current wife, 2.0, does carry/move her own luggage, BUT, as this has into the recent past included her trying to wheel BOTH a hard-shelled 29-inch case and a hard-shelled carry-on, I think that for the future a luggage combination that better matches her svelte figure ought to be possible. By her moving to a smaller rolling case, perhaps a 24-inch lightweight, with my Redoxx Air Boss that can fit atop that, we'll be better off in most traveling situations. That includes travel in and around larger air terminals, or getting from parking to our room at larger hotels, or even just storing the bags inside hotel closets that often are rather small.

This is a funny discussion. I can totally understand the thoughts here.

My wife likes to poke fun when I try to play small ball. Than main impediment to her travelling light is the creams and potions and other mysterious girly products. I don't understand it because she doesn't wear much make up and she also doesn't bring lots of clothes or shoes. I think some of it is that she likes to shop for new things when on a trip. I have tried to convince her to use shipping like UPS or whatever for these. I think maybe the most recent $120 fee for a measly 14 lb overweight bag fee might have helped to change her mind.

I used to travel with a colleague who refused to do laundry on a trip. One time we went overseas for 2-3 weeks, and I took a small roller and your typical packing list of 2-3 each item. This guy was worse than my wife: Two huge 26 inch or larger cases, even a boogie board. Good grief!

Update:

I can report an almost complete conversion, and the conversion fell into my lap. My oldest son (11 years old) went on a two-night field trip with his class to a local island. At the parent meeting, there was much lecturing on packing light because the kids would need to haul their own luggage around. I offered my new eBags weekender, which was accepted. We helped him pack, he put it on his back to test the weight and promptly said, "Hey, can I get one of these for our trip?"

Then, the clencher was when the spouse took him to the bus at 6:00 a.m. the next day and showed him how to stow away the straps, etc. The comment upon return: "That bag is pretty nice."

I did not gloat, which I'm certain was key. Here we are one week away from our 2-week trip to Europe and we will be using: 1 eBags weekender, 1 LL Bean Quickload (long story about how we got that for $5.00, but we did), 1 old, but still in great working condition, Eastpak convertible backpack (very similar to the MEI Voyageur in size and layout) and 1 roller bag (24 inch.)

3 out of 4 ain't bad considering where I started, and I will take it--for now. The 24-inch roller is a result of taking several, albeit small, gifts to family abroad and not the result of overpacking clothes. In fact, in order to fit in the Christmas gifts coming and going, we'll have to pack very light--as far as clothes go--in that one as well.

Upon my return, I will post a review of how the LL Bean Quickloader did in actual use.

Congrats on the conversion of your son! One less thing to worry about. ;)
Don't feel bad for the 24" roller if it's because of the presents. However, are you sure you can't do it with a 22 incher? this way you would be all carry on. How many are traveling? You, husband, son? At least the roller has the advantage that you can put on of the other bags on top and possibly hang a third bag on it. You probably won't be traveling around too much and one roller for three or four people is still a very do-able load.

Till

It's me, spouse and 2 (generally wonderful) boys. The adults and the 11-year old will each pack one convertible bag. The 8-year old will put his stuff in the 24-inch roller, with the spare room devoted to the gifts. 4 bags for 4 people + gifts.

Alright, 4bags, 4 people + gifts, you got my blessing and will not be excommunicated due to overpacking! :D

You guys should have seen me when I came back from my recent month long Europe trip. Tons of stuff I bought or got as gifts. How about six pairs of shoes size 9? A huge bulky winter jacket? A huge blanket? A 1.2l steel teapot filled with a glass of homemade jam (that triggered the TSA every single time). Let's not forget the massive laboratory grade mortar and pestle in ceramic. That thin alone was probably 4-5lb. I won't even mention the books, like the 400 page exhibition catalog.

I took the Plat5 and my BB107 with the most valuable things as carry-on. I checked a rather big 26" duffle and a 24" Samsonite suitcase. I did have some room in the suitcase to spare actually. But both checked bags were around 40lb. Total drag to move that stuff. I had to pay $5 in EWR for a frickin luggage cart just to do the 300ft from the carousel through customs to re-check. It wouldn't have been possible otherwise.

Sidenote: The Samsonite suitcase was a tricky affair. The lightest weight suitcase in that size I had ever seen. Imagine a 24" Aeronaut (exact same layout) on four wheels, pulled with a leash. It has an I-beam frame all around it and a baseboard where the wheels are attached. Otherwise totally soft. I haven't weighed it but I bet it's not more than 5lb. I have never seen a suitcase like it.